Change is good. Change is heartbreaking. Change is life. The summer of 2014 and now the Fall of 2014 have been all about change for me. I have shed tears on many days, and on others have been deliriously happy. I have apologized for my transgressions, I have accepted the responsibility of change.
A weird thing happened. I lost my medical insurance because my marital status changed this summer. For a few weeks, while I was shopping for new coverage…I was without. I finally decided on a plan with Cigna and it kicked in on October 2nd. On October 3rd, I awoke to a medical issue that necessitated that I immediately go to the doctor. I am intentionally being vague here because, even though I tend to spill my guts onto this blog, my personal health is still something that I will keep private. Anyway, …the very next morning, my life could have significantly changed…and I had coverage. (Thank you Obamacare)
So, I am scheduling surgery to correct the medical problem, it is not life-threatening. October is breast cancer awareness month, so I also got a mammogram this morning and a colonoscopy is in my near future too. This is definitely a change for me, as in the past, I have been very adverse to doctor’s offices. After “The Change” occurred with me about 4 years ago, other changes have happened to my middle-aged body that now require maintenance. Getting older sucks, …the alternative really sucks.
I urge my readers to set up and go get a mammogram this month. If I can do it, you can do it. My large breasts got smashed down to the size of a iHop flap-jack this morning and it didn’t hurt, it was merely “uncomfortable” for a few minutes. “The Girls” survived and are resting now with me at my office.
Change happens throughout our lives, I think when women hit the mid-section, the changes are kind of amplified. It’s okay, take a deep breath and forge ahead. A high school friend died of cancer last week, I will take all these damn tests with a very thankful smile on my face. A change is gonna come.
I am not a perfect person. This year, at times, I have been inconsiderate, hurtful, and dishonorable. I am truly sorry for the change that brought. If you like me because of this blog, you might not like me if you knew all about my actions. Maybe some of my recent bad health is some type of cosmic karma. I probably deserve every bit of pain that comes my way.
I am getting my house in order. I am attacking my health issues and working my way back to good health. My gynecologist told me I was above the weight for my height this week, on his chart. “No shit, I asked? No doctor has ever told me that before!!” Turns out I am just short for my weight. Instead of 5’11” I should be 7’0…who knew??
A change is gonna come, I feel it. By Spring, more changes will come my way….I will embrace them. Change can bring you to your knees with sadness. Change can dizzy you and rock you to your core. But sometimes unexpected change, change you never saw coming, can bring you happiness and joy at a level you never envisioned. Whether you were forced to change, or you do it voluntarily….I wish you love and happiness. Always.
Oh there been times that I thought I couldn’t last for long
But now I think I’m able to carry on
It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will
Sam Cooke – A Change Is Gonna Come Lyrics | MetroLyrics