Tag Archives: gay rights

Righteous Anger

I was accused this week of cramming my “gay agenda” down a throat or two.  I am gay and I do have an agenda, so that part is correct.  I humbly disagree with the “cramming” part however.  But I want to thank that person, it got me angry enough to blog again and I have been suffering from writer’s block this summer.

Yeah, it’s going to be one of those…so if you prefer my funny childhood memories, click off here and have a good day!  

For those of you still with me, here I go.  I do not believe that striving for equal rights in the United States….US Constitutional rights is ‘cramming’ anything down anyone’s throat.  Of course, the haters will always disagree with me.  James Earl Ray probably pulled the trigger because he couldn’t stand MLK Jr.’s non-stop harping on equality for black people.  Why didn’t MLK Jr. just stop that and accept his second-class citizen status?  Well, he had the law and righteousness on his side, that’s why.  MLK Jr. had death threats every day, but continued to get up every morning and fight for his rights and others.

Now, in no way am I saying I am on the same level as that of my hero, MLK Jr.. I like to think that growing up reading about him and my other hero, President Kennedy, that their vision was ingrained in my psyche.  I feel their words deep inside of me, I feel their passion.  It’s that righteous anger again.

Now the Bible, Ephesians speaks of righteous anger…that anger that is expressed in such a way as to bring glory to God.  I am not a Christian, but I like to think that Christians would say that’s fighting the good fight.  Fighting for equality under the law would be something that their God would think was righteous.

I will get hateful and angry comments sent to me because I just wrote the above paragraph.  They will try to say that queers are going to burn in hell…even though Jesus never did address homosexuality….you can’t prove that to me.

I have to authorize all comments to be posted on my blog, so haters beware.  Most of the time I do not allow your comments, so feel free to blast me to burn, but know I am the only one that will read your commentary.

I bring up religion because all the haters…uh er, Christians always want to say that the Bible says ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN.  A family member “friended” me on Facebook this month, then put that as her status.  Facebook is the best thing EVER in my opinion.  The lying faces that smile at you at family reunions cannot resist posting their thoughts for the world to see in social media.  It is a wonderful thing.  She felt righteous about posting it because she was acting under her beliefs and I felt wonderful “de-friending” her, acting under mine.  Win, win.

The family member felt compelled to write me an email and say that I was going to burn in HELL, not for being gay mind you, but for not following the WORD.  I am glad she feels badly for me and will miss me in heaven.  Like Billy Joel sang, I would rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints.  Is it getting warm in here??

I won’t go into my Constitutional argument for marriage equality…read previous blogs.  I will reiterate that I do not want to marry in a church…yours or anyone else’s.  Marriage in the U.S. is a civil contract….so keep the Bible out of it, okay?

The inevitable is going to happen, marriage equality is going to become the law of the land.  I think that is why the haters are getting so angry and revving up their engines.  Dan Cathey, the President of Chick Fil A, admitted recently what has been widely known for years in the gay community.  He admitted that the company is against marriage equality and has made million dollar donations to fight against it.

Now, if someone makes this statement, which he has every right to make in America, you gotta know there is going to be a fall-out.  He made a tactical decision to verbalize the company policy, good for him.  Always good when the haters make themselves known whether in your family or at your local chicken shack.

Now imagine, someone is saying that a national business has donated millions of dollars to keep you from exercising your US Constitutional rights.  How would you feel?

My family member is straight and married to a white person.  But what if they wanted to marry a black person and it was before Loving v. Virginia was decided by the US Supreme court in 1967?  What if the local owner of the chicken shack started mouthing off about the black person they loved and wanted to fight against their right to marry them?

The family member happens to live in North Carolina, where in 1967 it was ILLEGAL for a white person to marry a black person.  The first interracial marriage in that state occurred on October 6, 1971 when John A. Wilkinson’s marriage to Lorraine Mary Turner was officially recognized, Wilkinson was black and Turner was white.  North Carolina was one of 15 states that had to change their law after the Loving case was handed down.  It seems my family member has probably settled in the right state for them…if you get my drift.

So my point is, I am sorry if you view my continued struggle for my rights as cramming it down your throat!  I know if you were in the same situation you would act just like I am acting.  That is the funniest thing about the whole deal. The downtrodden, the disenfranchised, the abused, the discriminated against ALWAYS get both sides.  Why don’t the opposition see it?  They do, they insist on making the religious argument when they know it is a civil right…because under the laws of this country, they know they are going to lose.

I am going to hold the course on my gay agenda.  I am going to continue to lose family members in my righteous battle for equality.  It is all good, I sleep quite well at night.

MLK Jr. was a man of God and a reverend.  I know some of you will say that if he were here today, he would be against marriage equality.  I do not think anyone can make that assumption.  I will not pose an argument….I will just leave you with this quote.  Get some righteous anger my friends.

“Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: – ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

 Martin Luther King, Jr.     August 28, 1963


May 9, 2012.

What a historical day, May 9, 2012, became as President Obama FINALLY verbalized his support for gay marriage equality. As a former Constitutional law professor, we all knew how he stood internally, the conflict had always been WHEN to tell the world how he truly believed…how any educated and knowing person believes. Whether you love queers, hates queers, or are a queer…the answer is the same. All Americans are afforded equal protection under the law, guaranteed by the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

I expected him to wait until after he was re-elected, then to make the announcement. Politics and the way it makes rational men behave is a sick system, but I understand how the game is played. The unbelievable courage it took for him to give the interview before the election makes me respect him on a whole different level. Now, don’t think me a fool, I know this move was plotted out, internal polls and statistics considered…but I still know it was the equivalent of laying down a black-jack bet in Vegas.

I think it might turn out to be a total wash. That is, the number of votes he lost with the announcement is about equal to the number of votes he gained. The majority of votes Obama gets in November, he was going to get on May 8th.

I am sometimes accused of being a “one-issue” Democrat. Well, hello??? Wouldn’t you be if YOU were being denied a basic civil right because of one genetic marker you just happened to be born with? Why the hell would I vote Republican when Mitt is preaching that he will push for a U.S. Constitutional amendment defining marriage as one man and one woman?? Sure, let me vote Republican and then go home and stick pins in my eyes! Good grief!

The only thing…the ONLY thing that would be interesting if Mitt Romney becomes the President is the separation of church and State issue. All of the Bible-thumpers who are always screaming that they want religion back in the halls of government and in our schools will be doing a complete 180 in their thinking. The first time they hear President Romney talk about his magic underwear in the oval office, the Southern Baptist Convention will issue a statement on what a beautiful thing we have in the Separation of Church and State in America!!

It is funny when I think about it that the racists who sooooo hate Obama have to live with the fact that Palin and McCain were such a bad ticket that America voted a black man into the White House! They have had FOUR years to get the black man out of there and a Mormon is their best candidate?? I can’t wait until Romney picks his running mate! Guess what haters? It took the first black President to look into the camera and acknowledge my existence as an equal citizen!!

I have watched my hero, John F. Kennedy’s, June 11, 1963 civil rights speech dozens of times. I watched it again on May 9, 2012.

“The heart of the question is whether all Americans are to be afforded equal rights and equal opportunities, whether we are going to treat our fellow Americans as we want to be treated. If an American, because his skin is dark, cannot eat lunch in a restaurant open to the public, if he cannot send his children to the best public school available, if he cannot vote for the public officials who will represent him, if, in short, he cannot enjoy the full and free life which all of us want, then who among us would be content to have the color of his skin changed and stand in his place? Who among us would then be content with the counsels of patience and delay?”


Who among you would want to wake up tomorrow and know, at your soul’s core, that you were gay? Life as a queer girl in Texas is not an easy road. I am humbled and grateful that President Obama was not “content with the counsels of patience and delay” when he decided to speak out in the second week of May, 2012.

On April 19, 2012 President Obama visited the Henry Ford Museum in Michigan. The museum houses the infamous bus where American hero, Rosa Parks, declined to yield a seat to a white man. The President took the exact same seat and pondered. I know I was thinking it was a complete “full-circle” moment when I saw the photo taken that day.

“I just sat in there for a moment and pondered the courage and tenacity that is part of our very recent history but is also part of that long line of folks who sometimes are nameless, often times didn’t make the history books, but who constantly insisted on their dignity, their share of the American dream,” said President Obama.

I like to think that when it came time for the President to pick the date for his equality statement that he thought for a second about sitting in that bus seat. My being gay is as unchangeable as skin color, some people don’t believe that, but it is a fact.

I have never made a stand like Ms. Parks, where my physical well-being might have been threatened. I do like to think that with every word I speak, with every word I blog, maybe someone who hasn’t listened or paid careful attention before, well…maybe they do at last.

At last, a sitting American President stood up for gay Americans. I know how black Americans felt now on June 11, 1963. Tears roll down your face, your chest heaves, and you are speechless. That’s right, I became speechless. For once, someone else, someone of greater significance was speaking my truth. I am forever thankful that President Obama sat in my seat on that day.

The Minority

Wait, you don’t get it…I was born this way!! There is no way in hell you could make me lay down with another man!! “Look George, I am sorry…you have made a poor “life choice.”” I have not made a choice, screamed George! What kind of nightmare is this?? Look, I am attracted to women…it just seems natural to me. “Well, it is amoral and unnatural, you must be suffering from a mental defect of some sort,” the man shouted. George walked out of his office and into the heat of the California sun. He had to find another job, he couldn’t take the daily scrutiny from his boss about being a heterosexual. He was not a protected class under the law and Glenn, his boss, could heap shit upon him every day….and quite literally did just that.

George reached for his cell phone and called Phyllis, his girlfriend. They had been seeing each other for two years, living together actually…they longed to be able to legally marry each other. Heterosexual marriage was only legal in five states: Idaho, Texas, Montana, Oklahoma, and Utah. George was going to tell Glenn to shove it one day soon and they would be off…off to where they could marry each other…even walk down the street holding hands. The thought of it was surreal to George and Phyllis. To breathe the air of equality, to not be publicly ridiculed…to feel like they had equal protection under the Constitution of the United States.

They had picked Texas as their soon to be new home. Frankly, it was not much of a contest…who the hell would pick Oklahoma?? George chuckled at his own joke as he buckled up and headed down the road to the waiting arms of Phyllis. He had felt like a second-class citizen his whole life, but soon he would have a shift in his life…a parallel universe if you will…one where he and Phyllis could live happily ever after. He wondered what a world ran by heterosexuals would look like….how would they treat homosexuals if the shoe were on the other foot?

George thought it must be what he deemed the “culture of the majority.” The human race was built to want to be “like-in-kind” to the man standing next to him. Heterosexuals were just smaller in number…a weakened voice that longed to be heard. Natural reproduction was the same way…an anomaly where the progeny was a genetic crap shoot. Test-tube babies were the norm, George had never met anyone that admitted to being the product of heterosexual baby-making. That person would be the ultimate out-cast in society…someone whose every detail was not ordered up by their homosexual parents. It was even a freaky idea to George…he and Phyllis would go the normal route and order their child just like everyone else…if only it were legal for them to parent.

George could see Phillis’ silhouette, back-lit, as she stood on the porch and waited to greet him. “How are you tonight?” she said as she patted George on the back and they both turned to walk in the front door. Phyllis! I told you no touching in public! “It is our own porch George!” she responded. Not until we hit El Paso Phyllis..not until then.

They sat eating their dinner and watched the evening news together. The NBC Nightly News was showing a story about a crazy pastor from Oregon that was picketing heterosexual funerals….his congregants were holding signs that read, “STRAIGHT to Hell!”

When will the majority ever understand? Will there EVER be a day when we can all agree that we were born either heterosexual or homosexual?
George had trouble drifting off to sleep that night. He dreaded the day when the geneticists would finally find the sexuality marker…that would be the end of heterosexuals for sure. Sleep George he thought to himself…sleep…think good thoughts. TEXAS….Texas…..Texas.

Queers and Restrooms

The brown wing-tip slides under the stall wall and touches the other guy’s right foot. A hand signal is flashed…WAIT….STOP! Ever since Senator Larry Craig was busted in that Minnesota airport John, I know there are thousands of straight people who think this is a common ocurrance….it is not.

I am not a gay male, but I know that the average gay male doesn’t cruise public bathrooms and parks for dates…period. The guys you read about in the paper or see on the news are just like Senator Craig….frustrated gay men living a life of lies. I was very sad for the Senator when I saw that news story. In a perfect world he would be an out gay man, representing the state of Idaho…probably with a male partner.

The only other males in the parks and bathrooms are cops! Cops looking to bust the guys living the life of deceit…looking to charge them with public lewdness. I represent the poor guys like Senator Craig…they are miserable people. I wonder what that feels like to pull in the driveway every night and to stare at the house…a wife and kids inside….a man truly alone in the car. It is 2010 and people are still making the decision to live mainstream, because it sometimes sucks to live an “out” life. Yes, even in 2010…things have to change, but until they do..there will be men like the Senator.

Now to something I know a little more about…queer girls going to public restrooms. I have been embarrassed way too many times, called out, picked on..verbally abused. I decided years ago, unless it was an absolute emergency, I don’t go to public restrooms.

Most of you reading this might not believe it, but when you look like me, you hear at least one derogatory comment a day directed towards you. They are sometimes whispered to another, sometimes spoken directly to me…every once in a while, shouted. A “dykey” looking woman puts up with the same amount of crap that an “effeminate” man endures. We are different than the norm, queer…we know this and don’t have to be reminded..but the general populace feels a need to state the obvious. Imagine forever being in 6th grade where kids said whatever came to their mind. That is what adults do to queers, like we don’t feel the sting of the words, the taint of the prejudice.

The female restroom is the worst. Women will call me “sir,” they have screamed and ran out…they have laughed and pointed. Can I get an amen from my little queer girls reading this? You guys feel me, I know you do. The inner confines of a restroom in a school, college, or mall is a place where anything can be said..common etiquette is not to be found.

I have never read an article on queers and bathrooms, but I know this will strike a nerve, it is an unspoken practice. The next time you are out and see a queer person walking out of one of the “family” designated restrooms..you know the ones that are reserved for single parents and small kids?? Next time you see a queer exiting that room…you will now know why…they just don’t feel like putting up with any grief that day. They want to see if they can go the rest of the day without being called “sir” or a “Nancy boy.”

So there you have today’s blog. Not a rant, nor a diatribe…just the plain facts about queers and restrooms. Today’s queer lesson is that most gay men that go into restrooms are actually entering to do their business…not to get “busy.” Little queer girls that look like and dress like Justin Timberlake are not there for you to ridicule. They are different than the norm, but have every right to be there as the next girl…reward them with your respect…reward them with your silence.