The Minority


Wait, you don’t get it…I was born this way!! There is no way in hell you could make me lay down with another man!! “Look George, I am sorry…you have made a poor “life choice.”” I have not made a choice, screamed George! What kind of nightmare is this?? Look, I am attracted to women…it just seems natural to me. “Well, it is amoral and unnatural, you must be suffering from a mental defect of some sort,” the man shouted. George walked out of his office and into the heat of the California sun. He had to find another job, he couldn’t take the daily scrutiny from his boss about being a heterosexual. He was not a protected class under the law and Glenn, his boss, could heap shit upon him every day….and quite literally did just that.

George reached for his cell phone and called Phyllis, his girlfriend. They had been seeing each other for two years, living together actually…they longed to be able to legally marry each other. Heterosexual marriage was only legal in five states: Idaho, Texas, Montana, Oklahoma, and Utah. George was going to tell Glenn to shove it one day soon and they would be off…off to where they could marry each other…even walk down the street holding hands. The thought of it was surreal to George and Phyllis. To breathe the air of equality, to not be publicly ridiculed…to feel like they had equal protection under the Constitution of the United States.

They had picked Texas as their soon to be new home. Frankly, it was not much of a contest…who the hell would pick Oklahoma?? George chuckled at his own joke as he buckled up and headed down the road to the waiting arms of Phyllis. He had felt like a second-class citizen his whole life, but soon he would have a shift in his life…a parallel universe if you will…one where he and Phyllis could live happily ever after. He wondered what a world ran by heterosexuals would look like….how would they treat homosexuals if the shoe were on the other foot?

George thought it must be what he deemed the “culture of the majority.” The human race was built to want to be “like-in-kind” to the man standing next to him. Heterosexuals were just smaller in number…a weakened voice that longed to be heard. Natural reproduction was the same way…an anomaly where the progeny was a genetic crap shoot. Test-tube babies were the norm, George had never met anyone that admitted to being the product of heterosexual baby-making. That person would be the ultimate out-cast in society…someone whose every detail was not ordered up by their homosexual parents. It was even a freaky idea to George…he and Phyllis would go the normal route and order their child just like everyone else…if only it were legal for them to parent.

George could see Phillis’ silhouette, back-lit, as she stood on the porch and waited to greet him. “How are you tonight?” she said as she patted George on the back and they both turned to walk in the front door. Phyllis! I told you no touching in public! “It is our own porch George!” she responded. Not until we hit El Paso Phyllis..not until then.

They sat eating their dinner and watched the evening news together. The NBC Nightly News was showing a story about a crazy pastor from Oregon that was picketing heterosexual funerals….his congregants were holding signs that read, “STRAIGHT to Hell!”

When will the majority ever understand? Will there EVER be a day when we can all agree that we were born either heterosexual or homosexual?
George had trouble drifting off to sleep that night. He dreaded the day when the geneticists would finally find the sexuality marker…that would be the end of heterosexuals for sure. Sleep George he thought to himself…sleep…think good thoughts. TEXAS….Texas…..Texas.

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One response to “The Minority

  1. Jodie Wright-Tepfer

    I love the satire….I’m sure it’s been done before… Your piece should be required reading.
    When I taught school, I had my seniors close their eyes, and when they opened them, they had to envision themselves homosexual…..(or heterosexual…). Then I went through the scenerio of what ifs…you are harrassed, forced to feel less than others, embarrassed and ridiculed for who you are, not allowed to marry, show public affection, etc. Forced sensitivity training. I hope some of them got the message….But what about NEW YORK!! Gotta love those yankees (and Cuomos!!)!

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