Jesus Told Me To Write This Blog.

What kind of world do we live in where a political candidate preaches hate in a last-ditch effort to garner votes and Jesus has become a Denver Broncos fan?

Tell me Rick Perry, what has repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell done to undermine our military?  Did all the soldiers in Afghanistan lay down their arms and walk away when the butch girl in the vehicle support garage was finally able to verbalize the fact that she is a dyke?  Haven’t seen that on the evening news, have you?  There was a story on how the YouTube video of Perry is fast becoming the most “disliked” video ever.

I know lots of Christians that are tired of their religion being aligned with hate and ignorance.  There are people who pick up a book, besides the Bible, and attend church every Sunday.  I want more of them to post their own videos, please!

I don’t have a problem with Jesus digging the Broncos right now.  Tebow is a sincere kid and fun to watch.  Jerry Jones has only retracted the roof two times since opening Jerry’s World, so Jesus can’t watch his favorite team that often.  The switch in allegiance was expected, the Mile High City, is closer to God than the rest of the fields in America….so it all makes sense.  Pray on Tebow…play on Tebow.  I still think you will be an even better player after you lose, well….when you start acting like the Jonas Brothers did after ditching those bracelets…you get me, right?

If we buy into the belief that Jesus wants Tebow to win, we also have to believe that he wanted Kanye to win a Grammy.  We further have to believe that He wanted the guy with two teeth in the Oklahoma trailer park to survive the tornado and not the family of five that lived next door.  I guess they weren’t Broncos fans.

I know I have always felt that Jesus likes people more if they cite Bible verses, and thank him for every single thing that happens to them on any given day.  I have been remiss in not thanking Jesus for the two times big ass SUVs have rear-ended me this year, sending me to the hospital on one occasion.  What’s that you say?  I should thank Him for escaping the accidents with my life and not being seriously hurt?  Didn’t I tell you I am a Cowboys fan??

While I am getting this off my chest.  I want to give a shout out to Tebow for putting John 3:16  under his eyes on game day…yeah, you heard me right.  He puts Bible verses on the black tape under his eyes …the tape that is usually used to cut down on glare from the sun.  I guess he wants glare from the Son.

I equate the above with people who feel the need to put a religious bumper sticker on the back of their vehicle…or one of those ubiquitous Jesus fish.  Please  disregard that I am a knuckle dragging idiot that just changed lanes in front of you without a turn signal or warning.  Jesus is on board with me and if I should cause an accident, He will want me to live because my kid is an honor student at Our Lady of Victory Catholic School.  I guess I am screwed, I have no bumper stickers, just a Texas license plate that reads, “Please Drive Sober.”

I just made a call out to a friend in Vegas to place my bet for the Broncos winning the Super Bowl this year.  The odds for Denver to win the big show are 55 to 1.  I figure it is a sure thing and a way to pay  my credit card bills about the time the Christmas bills hit my mailbox.  I do like and celebrate Christmas.  It is that time of year when ALL Christians act like they should throughout the year.

So happy holidays to you!  Yes, I say the generic greating…and NO President Obama does NOT call it a holiday tree instead of a Christmas tree.  Our President is a Christian and not a Muslim.  The idiotic thing circulating Facebook about him trying to abolish Christmas in America is well….actually not surprising.  The people who post the nonsense are the same people who re-elected Bush in 2004.  Jesus told them to vote for Bush …..they heard it directly from the pulpit at their church.

Jesus told me to write this blog today.  He was a wise beyond his years prophet when religious zealots staked him to the cross and killed him. I know if He is in the sky somewhere watching over us that he truly cares about football games and who wins the MTV video awards.  He hates gay people and loves people who drive Chevy Surburbans while texting.  He speaks directly to that preacher in Kansas and tells him to picket funerals.  And evidently watches some gridiron action on Sundays. He keeps an eye out for certain people who talk non-stop about their faith and broadcast it on their bodies and motor vehicles.

If Rick has his way, Tebow will add a sticker and place it right beside his Ichthys…..Perry 2012.